


mama im in love with a criminal

by KAWAII_dan_phil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), septiplier-youtube
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dan Howell/Phil Lester - Freeform, Help, I dont know what phil is right now, I feel bad for ma small bean, Kitsune, M/M, Magic AU, Maybe - Freeform, Other, Unrequited Love, enjoy, feel bad damnit, feel bad for phil, fictional things, kitsune chris, kitsune dan, kitsune jack/sean, kitsune louise, kitsune mark, kitsune pj, lol, magical beings, maybe not, nine tailed foxes, phil has no friends, possibly hanahaki, vampire felix, vampire marzia, why am I writing this?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KAWAII_dan_phil/pseuds/KAWAII_dan_phil
Summary: Kitsunes are mythical foxes with nine tails, and phil throws himself into the deep end by accident, while dan and co. Have secrets, which don't stay secret very long......throw in some jack x mark and some random P.O.Vs and there you go!+bonus chris x pjcause why not?but when your a mythical being running from the law for more than one reason, with a clan to protect........you tend to get into some tricky situations....enjoy :D





	1. 2009 (must I elaborate)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is my first actually (video blog)lol, hope you got the reference, but this is my first fanfic on ao3, I used to be zalaaaa on wattpad , bbbbuuuuutttt I scrapped it sooooo, yeah...ANY WAY, ON WITH THE PHANFICTION 
> 
> *future edit*this seriously takes some weird turns.......

  1. Dan's P.O.V
  2. Hi (so original there) my name is Dan and I'm a hacker, why am I spilling all my secrets onto you? Who knows, but I might as well continue



Today is the day I meet phil (if you don't know who he is, then you must be seriously lost m8) louise decided she would tag along and ominously hide in the shadows, because who doesn't want to do that on a saturday morning, right?

 

(yes, I know dan was the one who got on the train but bear with me here, kay?!)

Phil was to be here in 5-10 minutes so I sat on and old rusted, green bench alongside a man who stared at me with wide brown eyes, I soon became rather uncomfortable. And power walked away, his eyes burning 

holes in my back. A train pulled up and out came Philsicle, looking just about as innocent as a baby fawn...

His  ~~~~dashing blue eyes widening as he spotted me amongst the crowd

 

and literally flung people out of the way, oh god...way to make an entrance phil

 

 

"DDDDAAAAANNNNN" he sreamed as he collapsed on my shoulder *sigh* this is gonna be a long ride

"Hi phil" I replied as a wild louise appeared out of ominous shadows of which were previously mentioned, "fancy seeing you here dan!" She faked surprise, and she had been to an acting college,  so she had her shit together. 

 

"Louise?"I questioned, raising an eye brow, why does phil look so awkward, ohhhhhh right

"Louise this is phil, phil, louise" louise squealed as she pounced on phil, who looked shocked and slightly winded, but hey louise is about as unpredicatable as a flying space llama..

"expect the unexpected"

 

 

 

  1.  





	2. The awkward cab ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, im writing this while listening to phan songs (my SA has been flung across my room) sooo, lets a goooo

Phil's P.O.V

A woman soon appeared and stared at dan in utter surprise as they greeted eachother

I felt kinda awkward and.......jealous? No, no! I do not like dan howell, as far as I know dan could be a serial killer, or a hacker (oh, the irony).earth to dan, now I feel left out :'(....(ohhhhh, ma small bean!!!)..dan EVENTUALLY picked up on the awkwardness and quickly introuced us

 "Phil, this is louise, louise, phil" She suddenly pounced on me as I look to see dan stifling a chuckle, and soon enough he was having a laughing fit and literally rolling around on the floor. Then I saw a brown eyed man glaring at dan from a rusted bench (remember him? You probably should tbh) I guess he is just annoyed at dan.... yeah......thats normal, moving o- wait! I feel like I know that guy, with brown eyes,  brown hair and faded freckles...he..what?! He looks like...dan? Surely I just recognise him because he is a replica of dan...yeah... anyway!!!

 

Dan hailed a cab and the...3? Of us made our way to danyuls(lol) place (aahhhh, grammar nazis are after me!) We were soon there, and I was amazed! It was pretty damn big! Dan soon explained that he shared the place with 3 of his friends loise, and 2 guys named Chris And PJ... on our way here, I had to just sit in silence as louise whispered things to dan. Thank god thats over!

We entered and dan set up a film

"Phil, pick a film, any PHILm(sry, dont attack me!)"

"Uummmmm, the lion king", I blushed in embarrassment,  I was asked to pick a film and chose a childs cartoon animation!  Typical phil I guess dan put in the film as the guy named PJ walked in with a bowl of  popcorn, like, a MASSIVE bowl of popcorn! Flipping hell on Chris-dude followed him in, carrying 4 hot chocolates with:

Whipped cream

Marshmallows!

A flake

And a topping of cinnamon powder. Mmmmmmmmmmmm

We all got comfy on the sleek, black leather corner sofa as louise pressed play (yes, she is still alive)

"Ahhhhhh sevenya!" I screached, Id pretty much lost all of my dignity already, might as well go all the way (*shivers* too many innuendos)

The rest of the night went super quick and as eveyone 'went to bed' they all walked into identical rooms (other than dans)they all had 5 sleek, black computers curved around a comfy looking desk chair, when I asked what they were soing they just said "work," do they all have the same job? Oh well, I dont know

 

 

Oh phil, if only you knew 


	3. It continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idek at this point so like.......yeah, ANYWAY on with the actual thing instead of me blabbering on .......I'm blabbering on about blabbering on ( blabseption )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I still doing this!? Like srysly why am I still here, writing this, existing right now, any ways (I say that a lot now lol), soon, I'll be starting a drarry (Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter ) fan fiction and maybe I'll add some phan into the mix -what abomination would that create, well, we'll soon find out.....

(who's Pov shall I use today?)

Phil's P.O.V.

 

I'm still a bit alarmed by the fact that they all just disappeared into identical rooms but I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation (oh Phil) 

in a matter of minutes, Dan reappeared (que Dan enter from stage right) and ushered me to bed and told me to sleep and I was extremely tired so I just kinda went limp and flopped onto the floor, because, why not!? And Dan ended up carrying me to a spare room where I instantly fell asleep and woke up the next morning after an AMAZING sleep.......seriously, I don't think I've ever slept that well!but as I try to pull off the covers, I realise that there is a weight- more accurately a snoring blob- on the end of the bed and I look to my right to see dans face next to mine, like so close that his minty breath is fanning over my face, and it's actually kinda relaxin- wait what am I saying

you know what, I'll admit it, I'm in love with Dan Howell, but I still kinda wanna know why he is on the bed, so I do the thing that any normal person would do....I poke him, but he doesn't even stir, so....*scratches back of neck* I kinda rolled him off the bed, and he landed with a thump, yet still didn't wake, so I found a glass and poured tap water on him..

"the fuck!" He screamed

 

 

to be continued


	4. what?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont even know what to put in here, so lets just continue shall we???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk,,,,,,

3rd person P.O.V

"*chuckles nervously* morning dan......."  
they seemed to have an awkward moment of staring at each other mas dan realised that he was on the floor covered in cold water next to phils bed....  
as dan got up, phil realised that you could see dans muscles through his doused top as it clung to his chest and all little innocent phil could do was stare,  
"Ummmmm, phil?is you okay" dan asked playfully as he giggled and walked over to the bed, pinning phil to it as the oldest of the two leaned up to kiss the younger without thinking it through......dan pulled back, staring at phil shocked and....fearful and almost.....disgusted as he darted out of the room

when they all, had breakfast of dans creation (which was amazing) he refused to meet Phils eyes and only spoke to him when necessary  
After there meal, phil pinned dan to a wall and asked "what IS wrong with you! "  
Dan simply looked at him with a blank, vacant expression as he consealed his emotions behing an unnerving, empty mask, he looked....empty  
phil banged dan against the wall in blind frustration as dan pushed him harshly, sending him flying across the room and slaming into a wall and created a phil shaped dent  
"Phil just stared wide eyed as Dans eyes turned a hazy violet colour, his skin sprouting a thick, shiny midnight black coat as his bones popped and snapped, dan fell to all fours, though he grew so even on all fours, he was still at eye level, pupils becoming slits, hands to paws.. ears on the top of his head...nine huge tails fanned out behind him, teeth elongating and sharpening, nails becoming claws. He was a..a kitsune?!(nine tailed fox)  
thundering paws were heard as a slightly smaller white kitsune with unnaturally green eyes ran in, followed by 2 more, one ginger-red with neon yellow eyes...and an ash grey one with amber eyes. They all stood behind..dan? All of them had simbles and swirls in their fur, the white one had pale blue swirls, the grey one had amber-red swirls and the red one had golden swirls, but dan...dans fur was even more detailed..... white swirls, dapples and symbols encrypted in shocking black fur, dans ears were pinned to his head as his throat rumbled as a menacing snarl was ripped from him, which was soon reinforced by yet more snarls (oh joy)  
//you should never touch a kitsune unless given permission! //the white one hissed, but not aloud, as he only heard it in his mind, it had a....familiar voice of which phil could not place...dan snarled and jumped through an open window into the forest out the back 

 

dan walked an hour into the forest, befor he caught a scent, that seemed...recognisable but not familiar....and he came across a beautiful pale green coloured kitsune, sat beside a crimson red one, they were slightly smaller than him as he was said to be from a pureblood alpha family of kitsune, the green one had sky blue eyes and stripes to match, as the blood coloured one had taffy pink stripes and very dark, brown eyes...they seemed scared to be kisunes, /they must not understand our kind   
he approached them....as they didnt smell of a clan

//hello...// he greeted, suspicious that he just found two people who have very rare and ancient creature blood gracing their veins just out in the woods  
they both jumped out of thejr fur and looked at him, amazed //I didnt know there were more likenus//the green one whipered, pressing up against the red one  
//what do you want//the blood coloured one snarled   
//I want you to join my kitsune clan, we are safer together, as we are so rare//  
what is your name the green one asked kindly  
dan smiled encouragingly//my name is dan, your names?//   
the green one replied yet again //I am jack/sean, and this is markimooooooo, and we would love to join you//  
so they started back to the manour in which dan resided......

 

well, that tolk a twist didnt it?


	5. Ohhhhh Phil

Phil's POV

 

I stood frozen as the kitsune closed in, and then I remembered a vague lesson I had once had on kitsune when I was young...

*Flashback*

"You must always be extremely respectful to Kitsune, as they are such amazing being, and if you disrespect them, I must be brought to worry about your safety.In the world of Kitsune, they have an arduous respect system, where the older they are, the more they should be respected, and once, in the dark ages, many men had tried to hunt them but were easily overpowered by the Kitsune themselves. Since then, we have learnt to respect them greatly."The teacher had talked for hours, but many soon zoned out.

*End Flashback*

 

I bowed and spoke respectfully "I am so graciously sorry, I had not known he was a kitsune.

"Of course." whispered the ginger-y Kitsune sarcastically

Before he could say anything else though, Dan came in, in Kitsune form, followed by two other Kitsune, one a blood red, and one a beautiful pale green

The slightly smaller white Kitsune cocked her head in question and asked Dan "Who are these two?" she hadn't said it in a cruel way and sounded almost polite, but her voice held an undertone of warning towards the two new Kitsune, aaaaannnnnddddddd then they transformed

"Jacksepticeye! Markiplier!"


End file.
